Joke Section

OMG? it is page 30.....w0w we r doing really good!

well i post alot of jokes ^_^

YA!...w0w....30 pages...that's a lot even if u do post a lot of jokes!

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn.

One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly B____ he's runnin' around with."

Four strangers were traveling together in the same compartment of a European train. Two men and two women faced each other. One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticated 70-year-old lady decked out in the finest furs and jewelry. Next to her sat a beautiful 19-year-old woman who looked like something right off the cover of a fashion magazine. Across from the older lady was a very mature-looking man in his mid-40s who was a highly decorated sergeant major in the army. And next to the sergeant major sat a young private fresh out of boot camp.

As these four strangers traveled, they chatted about trivial things until they entered an unlighted tunnel. There they sat in complete darkness and total silence until the sound of a distinct kiss broke the silence; following the kiss, a loud slap could be heard throughout the cabin.

In the ensuing period of silence, the four strangers sat quietly with their thoughts.

The older lady was thinking, "Isn't it wonderful that even in this permissive day and age, there are still young women who have a little self-respect and dignity?"

The young woman, shaking her head and greatly puzzled, asked herself, "Why in the world would any man in his right mind want to kiss an old fossil like that when I'm sitting here?"

The sergeant major, rubbing his sore face, was outraged that any woman could ever think that a man in his position would try to sneak a kiss in the dark.

And the private, grinning from ear to ear, was thinking, "What a crazy and mixed-up world this is when a private can kiss the back of his hand and then smack a sergeant major in the face and get away with it!"

hahahahahahahahahahahah

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Krissy Jones during my Freshman year that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.

This student got the only A!!!!

wow jason

hahahahahahahahah

so this guy calls Geek Squad and says " hey how do i fix the cup holder if it breaks off" and Geek Squad say " is this somthing u bout and put on" the guy says "no it came with it".

what?

LOOK ITS ELI!!!! hint look at it from slight angle--to the right--

ya cause it ugly

LOL LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!

look closly........... IF YOU CANT GET IT LOOK AT SPOILER!!!

Spoiler:

yes its a monkey... get over it....

OMG IT'S SO CUTE!

its funny

omg that one of eli should be short and say lier

he quit

and that cool

so tiny

...............W0W

he quit party at every were its lie awsome o ya ps every come to mornighside youth nxt wed the august somthin

ok a man walks into a bar